I was probably 22 in this photo. On this day I was at a beautiful scenic overlook in the Glasshouse Mountains in Queensland, Australia. I was there with my new fiancé and soon to be mother-in-law.

I had a good job, earned a lot of money for being 22, working 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off on oil rigs as a geologist with no responsibilities when I was home from work. I was with a man I loved and had a wonderful older woman in my life which I had missed since my own mother’s passing. The weather was beautiful and life should have been idyllic.

But look at that face. Look beyond the surface and you would see someone who was so desperately numb inside. I felt so unhappy inside, so void of worth. From the outside, perhaps you wouldn’t have known. But if you looked more closely, watched my behavior, listened to my words, felt my energy, you would have noticed it too.